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I was reading something abut friendship the other day. Apparently the average person has 3 to 5 close friends, 10 to 15 people in their circle, and 100 to 150 acquaintances. Try counting yours! But studies have shown that it’s not the number of friends that leads to happiness, instead it's the quality of your friends.

Research has shown some real tangible benefits of having good friends. It can make you physically healthier (social connection is linked to lower blood pressure and a lower BMI). Apparently friendships can help you live longer - data from 148 studies have shown that people with stronger social connections have longer lives. Friendship can be linked to good mental health and even financial health.

And yet - I know that thinking about friendship can be painful for some people. In our world today, although there are lots of ways of being connected with others (with zoom and the internet) even younger people are more disconnected from each other than ever.

The really painful thing about friendship is we can lose our friends. Those we know and love can move away. And we all die - and it’s horrible knowing you don’t have that person to call or to talk to.

What makes a good friend? One writer has suggested three things that make up a really good friendship. I don’t know what you think about this?

Vulnerability - Those really precious friends are ones who know us best. Who we don’t have to hide anything from. Where we can talk about anything, admit anything. They really know us, and they really love us. It doesn’t mean they always say what we want to hear - good friends are those who can tell us when we are being an idiot!

Consistency - Really good friends are reliable. They show up when it matters most and follow through, they do what they say they will. They are loyal.

Positivity - They don’t drag you down. They bring you up, they encourage you on. They are good company. Together you click.

I was quite struck recently, reading the gospels, about how much we’re told about Jesus as a friend. In fact, it’s his friendships that caused a lot of controversy.

When he lived on earth there were a group of people who just expected that Jesus would be their friends - that he’d want to spend time with them. the proud religious leaders. And yet, to their shock, Jesus spent most of his time with others - people they’d never describe themselves as friends of.

They criticised him more than once for being a “friend of sinners”. He would go to the home of people who had cheated others. He was happy with a woman they thought was a bit dodgy washing his feet with perfume.

That phrase “friend of sinners” wasn’t a label that Jesus was embarrassed by. Now - obviously it didn’t mean that he went out and got drunk and partied and stole with people. But he came to give himself in relationship to the most surprising people - and that includes you and me.

So think about what makes a good friend. Vulnerability. Your best friend knows the worst about you and loves you. Well, that’s true of the Lord Jesus Christ. As God become man, there is nothing about us that can ever surprise him. He didn’t spend time with the people he did because he didn’t really know what they were like. We don’t have to hide anything from him.

Perhaps you think you do? People look so smart and together at church? But deep down we are the same. We struggle. We sin - we’ve turned away from Jesus, our loving creator. But he draws near to us and says “come”.

More than that - he’s done more than any good friend has ever done. Have you ever had a problem you can’t solve? You call your friend don’t you? a good friend comes and acts. We’ve all got a problem we can’t solve. More than that we haven’t wanted to solve. We are cut off from God. Our sin has mounted up guilt. Jesus - the one who we have sinned against - has come and taken that punishment on himself. He says - turn to me. Trust me.

We can be vulnerable and honest about our need, about our sin with him.

There’s also consistency. Jesus never changes. He never has a bad day. He is always there and always will be.

What about positivity? We need to precise here. Jesus doesn’t always tell us what we want to hear. He knows what’s best for us. And he points out parts of our lives where we need to turn (repent) and things we need to do. He calls us to trust him when it's hard. But it's always for our good. It’s always because he loves us more than we can possibly imagine.